1. |
Ad Nauseum
04:58
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From a living room to a bathroom
I am throwing up and I feel your arms around me
Did I give you some meaning
Or some semblance of some meaning for which you leave me
Can I take you out
Of this morgue you have crafted
It was lived in but not living
And it felt like someone was watching me cry
In a bathroom on the south side
It's nights like this that make me curl up and die
For nothing but to say that
I, oh I've done it
I've discovered that there is nothing more to this
You will wither into speckled substance
That I could mold into a makeshift crucifix
Can I take you out
I'm sick of always being passive
I've been living with not living
And I'm just fine with feeling that way sometimes
At my parents' house
Or maybe the parents of a person you would give your life
In order to keep them alive
Someone gave me instructions
On how to feel more human than human can be
But it's bullshit, self-help nonsense
About where to stand on the drone bombing in me
Can I take you out
Of a time and place that brings you pain
I thought I was living but I'm not living
I'm just passing by the city streets
They've grown dirty from all the absentees
And politicians who make you show defeat
But consent is more than
Words are a virus
And they'd be best applied to ridding me of self-esteem
The compromisings of my spinal fluid
Gives me the opportunity to seek out dreams
Can I take you out
I don't have that long anyway
My body's been lived in
And I can't seem to think of what that entails
I'm the problem and the solution
And this light is starting to make my headaches melt
But I can't feel your touch anymore
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2. |
Waiting to Decay
02:49
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Every time I cut my hair
I begin to float
Away from all these psychopaths
Poised on what was wrote
When I have to pet your mane
I'll say I'm proud of you
No longer fair to what was dared
I was salt staring back at you
But there's no haste
There's all this time to lose
End my life and steal my soul
I have no cash to my name
The waning moon waxed to the proles
Too alert to rise again
In every way but intentionally
I waited for the day
But there's no hope or stupid dream
Of getting far away
And I have wasted these years
Waiting to decay
And I have wasted these years
Jumping through the flame
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3. |
||||
They've been annexing the apartments for months
Posters keep reading February in March
Maybe it's been like that for over a year
More than likely I've been wrapped around fingered fears
As I was moving ahead occasionally I saw
Bright lights and a lease on a new guitar
We've been in one movie we're sending out piece by piece
The clock says eleven but I know we're heading east
On a train I learned to fly away
Passing out and coming to with news of a name
Maybe I'll see you again some day
More than likely I'll forget the words to say
But oh, I hate that it's happening to you
I'm so sorry it's over, I'm sorry for the curtain call
I'm sorry for the prescriptions, I'm sorry but it's not your fault
Oh, I wouldn't wish this on me or you
I want you to know that I'm awake and my heart beats on
We won't speak again but I promise you'll have this song
I was fast in love and slow to read between lines
This whole time you knew it this whole time
Maybe there was hope but it's been dashed away
More than likely the atom split when you decayed
Sleeping in a chair in a mobile home
Decades on and you still force yourself to roam
Your brother's dead but it's not because of you
There was nothing else for you to do
But oh, I hate that it's happening to you
I'm so sorry it's over and for the four minute hall
I'm sorry for the prescriptions, I'm sorry but it's not your fault
Oh, I wouldn't wish this on me or you
I want you to know that I'm awake and my heart beats on
We won't speak again but I promise you'll live for long
I want you to know I'm awake and you'll have this song
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4. |
(shetland)
00:34
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5. |
Bastards
04:32
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So what's the dream if we're dead
Was America always bleeding from her head
I'm gonna take one more smoke
And I'll take one more break
And I'm donning my coat and I'm burning this place today
Squeal as you get one more kill
A bulletproof vest wasn't part of the deal
There's no even standing
In dissociative states
You start to forget when the blood's on your hands today
In their leaflets, you're the king
A pawn in their game, a knight if you sing
But there's no side more desperate
There's no party more lame in the leg
You were a victim of their game, so how are you feeling today
I don't see a world in which I retire
Death is the way, light me on fire
But if I'm giving in
Then slap me cross the face
I'm not living at all, I'm a revolutionary disgrace
In my place erect a tower to Paul
Send the Women's March to clean up my mess in the halls
Never needed someone like I need you
A million times in a million songs, a million lies in a million truths
You were never a martyr
You couldn't be a father
We're circling drains, we circle the pain
Where is it on the scale, can you make heads or tails
You were never a martyr
You never made it much farther
We're circling drains, we circle the pain
What's left to analyze, let the pigs be brutalized
Come kiss me I'm smoking out
The stains are not coming out
We're circling drains, we circle the pain
Take your time, find what's right, seventy story flight
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6. |
Virginia.
02:37
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I can't smoke and I don't drink
And my head hurts too much to think
It takes some time to feel the high
So to come down I'd rather die
Bring me back to Virginia
There was little inside that head
I sent flowers to your bed
They were roses, they were withering
Your hemispheres started splintering
I'll bring you back to Virginia
Carried out inside a truck
The roaring engines, the lonely fuck
My eyes were closed, my face was numb
But did you think that I was dumb
You won't bring me back to Virginia
Unmarked stone with a casting rod
I kept watch until I had to nod
You gave your word you'd be back tonight
So I knew at once you were not alright
I'll bring you back
I don't smoke but I can't drive
Still shoveling throughout the night
It takes some time to feel the high
But I promised not to let you die
I'll bring you back to Virginia
I'll bring you back to Virginia
Using up all my charisma
I'm going back to Virginia
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7. |
Family International
03:07
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I wanted to go to Montauk
To let the melody fade
I thought the inspiration
Would overwhelm my brain
But it's so much smaller
My thinking's pretty lame
My legs don't work anymore
They don't do what I say
They threw the bodies into the fire
They watched the ashes rise
A pillar of smoke, and a bad motif
And they glued on all their eyes
But by daybreak the fire was put out
The tide had come to reside
Was it so fucked up to be a part of something
Even if someone had to die
I built a bridge for my friends to get across
But it broke underneath their weight
And it made me into a hermit
A person I have grown to hate
And the mirror could be much more kind
But my body's never been on my mind
If it takes a village to raise a child
Let the family step aside
Am I a victim of self-love or of self-hate
I never realized
The picture in my windshield used to look like me
But it's bleeding from the eyes
There's no end, there's no satisfaction
Of resolution without matter-of-facting
The revolution was televised
And therefore it could be occupied
Don't believe you're getting off
Without jerking off into a sock
Your mind was focused on better things
Than saving the world with shitty punk rock
If you could give me a couple things
To keep while walking with a dulling knife
It was "keep your head down" and "walk away
Before you talk yourself into another fight"
I still want to go to Montauk
But my memory proved fake
No longer trusting of myself
And the pills they make me take
So when you see me on the edge of your bed
Jumping through the flame
There's no one there, I gave it up
I still don't have a name
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8. |
Hell
02:26
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Among the ash and smog of December afternoons
The scene rearranges itself just for you
You conquistador, one more lifetime ban
Setting sail for brighter days and pregnant lands
You docked yourself onto the wharf and conquered tribes for years
There was no one left to demand a check or counter fickle fears
The secret of its skeleton was a secret just for you
And you lost yourself in the snow banks on cloudy afternoons
You swore to me that you could improve but I saw through your disguise
Fifteen years with no warning they'll reveal your sacrifice
We're genderfucked and blind to debt but homeless just as well
So our home shall be each other and in each other's arms
With each other near and combating fear
And taking names and naming ways
To get out of here into the light
Out of the night without a sun
And feeling like a seventh son
What's said is said and what's done is done
And I won't run until we find our hell
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Cracked Gyroscope Troy, Alabama
Jess Scrambles (she/her) and company play lo-fi pop music.
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