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I Carried You to the Sea

by Cracked Gyroscope

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1.
Ad Nauseum 04:58
From a living room to a bathroom I am throwing up and I feel your arms around me Did I give you some meaning Or some semblance of some meaning for which you leave me Can I take you out Of this morgue you have crafted It was lived in but not living And it felt like someone was watching me cry In a bathroom on the south side It's nights like this that make me curl up and die For nothing but to say that I, oh I've done it I've discovered that there is nothing more to this You will wither into speckled substance That I could mold into a makeshift crucifix Can I take you out I'm sick of always being passive I've been living with not living And I'm just fine with feeling that way sometimes At my parents' house Or maybe the parents of a person you would give your life In order to keep them alive Someone gave me instructions On how to feel more human than human can be But it's bullshit, self-help nonsense About where to stand on the drone bombing in me Can I take you out Of a time and place that brings you pain I thought I was living but I'm not living I'm just passing by the city streets They've grown dirty from all the absentees And politicians who make you show defeat But consent is more than Words are a virus And they'd be best applied to ridding me of self-esteem The compromisings of my spinal fluid Gives me the opportunity to seek out dreams Can I take you out I don't have that long anyway My body's been lived in And I can't seem to think of what that entails I'm the problem and the solution And this light is starting to make my headaches melt But I can't feel your touch anymore
2.
Every time I cut my hair I begin to float Away from all these psychopaths Poised on what was wrote When I have to pet your mane I'll say I'm proud of you No longer fair to what was dared I was salt staring back at you But there's no haste There's all this time to lose End my life and steal my soul I have no cash to my name The waning moon waxed to the proles Too alert to rise again In every way but intentionally I waited for the day But there's no hope or stupid dream Of getting far away And I have wasted these years Waiting to decay And I have wasted these years Jumping through the flame
3.
They've been annexing the apartments for months Posters keep reading February in March Maybe it's been like that for over a year More than likely I've been wrapped around fingered fears As I was moving ahead occasionally I saw Bright lights and a lease on a new guitar We've been in one movie we're sending out piece by piece The clock says eleven but I know we're heading east On a train I learned to fly away Passing out and coming to with news of a name Maybe I'll see you again some day More than likely I'll forget the words to say But oh, I hate that it's happening to you I'm so sorry it's over, I'm sorry for the curtain call I'm sorry for the prescriptions, I'm sorry but it's not your fault Oh, I wouldn't wish this on me or you I want you to know that I'm awake and my heart beats on We won't speak again but I promise you'll have this song I was fast in love and slow to read between lines This whole time you knew it this whole time Maybe there was hope but it's been dashed away More than likely the atom split when you decayed Sleeping in a chair in a mobile home Decades on and you still force yourself to roam Your brother's dead but it's not because of you There was nothing else for you to do But oh, I hate that it's happening to you I'm so sorry it's over and for the four minute hall I'm sorry for the prescriptions, I'm sorry but it's not your fault Oh, I wouldn't wish this on me or you I want you to know that I'm awake and my heart beats on We won't speak again but I promise you'll live for long I want you to know I'm awake and you'll have this song
4.
(shetland) 00:34
5.
Bastards 04:32
So what's the dream if we're dead Was America always bleeding from her head I'm gonna take one more smoke And I'll take one more break And I'm donning my coat and I'm burning this place today Squeal as you get one more kill A bulletproof vest wasn't part of the deal There's no even standing In dissociative states You start to forget when the blood's on your hands today In their leaflets, you're the king A pawn in their game, a knight if you sing But there's no side more desperate There's no party more lame in the leg You were a victim of their game, so how are you feeling today I don't see a world in which I retire Death is the way, light me on fire But if I'm giving in Then slap me cross the face I'm not living at all, I'm a revolutionary disgrace In my place erect a tower to Paul Send the Women's March to clean up my mess in the halls Never needed someone like I need you A million times in a million songs, a million lies in a million truths You were never a martyr You couldn't be a father We're circling drains, we circle the pain Where is it on the scale, can you make heads or tails You were never a martyr You never made it much farther We're circling drains, we circle the pain What's left to analyze, let the pigs be brutalized Come kiss me I'm smoking out The stains are not coming out We're circling drains, we circle the pain Take your time, find what's right, seventy story flight
6.
Virginia. 02:37
I can't smoke and I don't drink And my head hurts too much to think It takes some time to feel the high So to come down I'd rather die Bring me back to Virginia There was little inside that head I sent flowers to your bed They were roses, they were withering Your hemispheres started splintering I'll bring you back to Virginia Carried out inside a truck The roaring engines, the lonely fuck My eyes were closed, my face was numb But did you think that I was dumb You won't bring me back to Virginia Unmarked stone with a casting rod I kept watch until I had to nod You gave your word you'd be back tonight So I knew at once you were not alright I'll bring you back I don't smoke but I can't drive Still shoveling throughout the night It takes some time to feel the high But I promised not to let you die I'll bring you back to Virginia I'll bring you back to Virginia Using up all my charisma I'm going back to Virginia
7.
I wanted to go to Montauk To let the melody fade I thought the inspiration Would overwhelm my brain But it's so much smaller My thinking's pretty lame My legs don't work anymore They don't do what I say They threw the bodies into the fire They watched the ashes rise A pillar of smoke, and a bad motif And they glued on all their eyes But by daybreak the fire was put out The tide had come to reside Was it so fucked up to be a part of something Even if someone had to die I built a bridge for my friends to get across But it broke underneath their weight And it made me into a hermit A person I have grown to hate And the mirror could be much more kind But my body's never been on my mind If it takes a village to raise a child Let the family step aside Am I a victim of self-love or of self-hate I never realized The picture in my windshield used to look like me But it's bleeding from the eyes There's no end, there's no satisfaction Of resolution without matter-of-facting The revolution was televised And therefore it could be occupied Don't believe you're getting off Without jerking off into a sock Your mind was focused on better things Than saving the world with shitty punk rock If you could give me a couple things To keep while walking with a dulling knife It was "keep your head down" and "walk away Before you talk yourself into another fight" I still want to go to Montauk But my memory proved fake No longer trusting of myself And the pills they make me take So when you see me on the edge of your bed Jumping through the flame There's no one there, I gave it up I still don't have a name
8.
Hell 02:26
Among the ash and smog of December afternoons The scene rearranges itself just for you You conquistador, one more lifetime ban Setting sail for brighter days and pregnant lands You docked yourself onto the wharf and conquered tribes for years There was no one left to demand a check or counter fickle fears The secret of its skeleton was a secret just for you And you lost yourself in the snow banks on cloudy afternoons You swore to me that you could improve but I saw through your disguise Fifteen years with no warning they'll reveal your sacrifice We're genderfucked and blind to debt but homeless just as well So our home shall be each other and in each other's arms With each other near and combating fear And taking names and naming ways To get out of here into the light Out of the night without a sun And feeling like a seventh son What's said is said and what's done is done And I won't run until we find our hell

about

I Carried You to the Sea, or "two years of reflection and resolution," or: The final Cracked Gyroscope project.

I wasn't planning on ever finishing this. In its original form, as the elusive Everybody Hates Chris Jericho demos, I kept slightly tweaking lyrics, trying to figure out the most out-of-the-box stylings possible. In the end, I stripped it all down to acoustic guitars, pianos, and some synths and harmonicas. No drums, no bass, no FL Studio. The only reason I'm even deciding to put this out now is to pay for hormone replacement therapy, which unfortunately is a bit expensive, especially for a broke college student. You don't have to pay for this LP - I'm not going to go back on my moral stance in favor of pay-what-you-want - but if you do buy it, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

credits

released October 1, 2021

Jess Scrambles - vocals, acoustic guitar, piano, keyboards, harmonica
Recorded at the Chapel + Studio 317
Special thanks to Kasey, Beth, Fili, Brendan, and Brittany

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Cracked Gyroscope Troy, Alabama

Jess Scrambles (she/her) and company play lo-fi pop music.

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